The weekend before Christmas I had the honor of participating in a Winter Wedding Retreat – a small, intimate, multi-day wedding celebration. Every time I have sat down to write this, I have ended up at a loss of words. Not because there is little to say, but precisely the opposite – there is so much to say, and so little of it can be said in words, but only captured in the wholeness of the weekend. I hope that this shares some of that beauty.

26 of us – family and friends – gathered at Renee’s family home and two nearby cottages on the shores of Lake Michigan Friday through Sunday. We each came with our own story and our own connection to Renee and Kylie. Everyone had someone new to meet, and yet each was an integral part of their community, and as a whole we represented a much larger community gathering around them to celebrate and support their marriage. At the weekend’s close, we could honestly call each other friends.

As for me, I met Renee ten and a half years ago as a freshman in university. We were instant kindred spirits and have since then spent years living and laughing together. We have weathered tempests of storms and soaked in the calmest of waters together. I love  Renee and Kylie’s story – what it is and what it will be – but that is for them to tell. What I can tell you is that they were made for each other and that I am blessed to be a part of their community.

I flew in a day and a half early to help with wedding prep – buying food and wine, making welcome baskets for the cabins, fixing a few beads on the wedding dress, soaking in the hot tub, and talking with Renee late into the night. Then the we did the airport runs. So much contentment in welcoming loved ones. Then the celebration began.

Pizza and pasta dinner surrounded by graffitied brick walls. Touching stories, laughter, and tears shared as a group. Morning devotions and prayer led by Grandma and Grandpa, who have been married for 55 years. The picture perfect dusting of snow. The men bonded over laser tag and lunch out. The women stayed in for relaxation for a simple spa time, mimosas, and lunch. The living space was rearranged three times in a night – for a wedding ceremony at sunset, a Thai dinner, and a dance floor. The bride was stunning and the groom handsome. They committed themselves to each other in marriage. There were tears shed and there were smiles filled with joy.  And on Sunday we gathered once more for a large brunch – one last meal over which to linger before goodbyes. It was a blessed time.

I have heard people say of weddings, “That was a good party.” And this was a good party – but not in an out until 3 am kind of way. It was good because we all left wishing we could stay longer and yet our hearts were content. It was good because we truly celebrated Renee and Kylie’s marriage – not just the act of the wedding, but their marriage. It was good because we celebrated as community. It was so good.

My camera was put away during the actual wedding and evening celebrations, so I have no glamorous photos of the couple in their wedding best. But Saturday morning I headed outside with the two of them to get some pictures with the freshly fallen, perfect dusting of snow. I hope you can see their joy.

Tags: community, friends, michigan, snow, weddings

Lately I have found myself wanting to read more and yet not making the time to curl up with books. There is plenty waiting to be read on my shelves and I am looking forward to working through those and others in the coming year. What were your favorite books of 2009? Is there anything that I should be adding to my shelves for this coming year? I would love to hear your thoughts.

For now, this is the list of books read this past year. Many of them have separate blog entries, but sometimes I was lazy and never got around to updating. Let me know if you would like to know more about any of these.

• A Painted House by John Grisham
• The Island of the Colorblind by Oliver Sacks
• Presenting to Win by Jerry Weissman
• Generation Y and the New Rules of Management by Mark Murphy and Andrea Burgio-Murphy
• Not Everyone Gets a Trophy: How to Manage Generation Y by Bruce Tulgan
• The Chains of Heaven by Philip Marsden
• The Bookseller of Kabul by Asne Seierstad
• The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni
• Overcoming the Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni
• Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art by Madeline L’Engle
• Praying for Sheetrock by Melissa Fay Greene
• When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty without Hurting the Poor…or Yourself by Steve Corbett & Brian Fikkert
• Treasure by Clive Cussler
• Hunter by J.A. Hunter
• The Sharper Your Knife, the Less You Cry: Love, Laughter, and Tears in Paris at the World’s Most Famous Cooking School by Kathleen Flinn
• Death by Meeting by Patrick Lencioni
• Tribes by Seth Gordin
• Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lhairi
• Mountains Beyond Mountains: The Quest of Dr. Paul Farmer, a Man Who Would Cure the World by Tracy Kidder
• A Wrinkle in Time by Madeline L’Engle
• Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress by Dai Sijie
• A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson
• It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita by Heather Armstrong

Title: It Sucked and then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita

Author: Heather Armstrong

Genre: autobiography

Form: hardcover

Recommended: yes – for all those people who have or are considering having children or who deal with depression in yourself or loved ones

Thoughts: Heather writes her autobiography much like how she writes her blog – candidly, verbosely, and full of humorous images. Nothing is off-limits, everything is worth discussing, and humor is found in the smallest moments. I found that I devoured the first half of the book and then took the second half much slower as her writing style is one better digested in small pieces. I love her honesty about life, children, and depression. All three are much less intimidating when approached openly. Read it with a drink in hand while laughing a loud, honest, and obnoxious laugh.

Tags: armstrong, autobiography, kids

origin

A couple of years ago I had a marvelous realization: I loved good bread puddings. And this realization of course made me want to learn to make a good bread pudding. I searched for recipes of various shapes and sizes to find the key ingredients, timing, and baking. Then I had fun. It is a perfect winter dessert – not too sweet, but moist and warm and begging for a cup of coffee, tea, or milk to go alongside. The recipe was resurrected for Christmas dinner this year and enjoyed by all. This is an approximate recipe – modify it to your heart’s content.

ingredients

pudding

• 2/3 – 3/4 loaf of American style French bread (goal: a white bread that does not have a thick crust – you want a crust that will ‘disappear’ rather than become tough in the custard)
• 1 cup coconut milk
• 1 cup 2% milk
• 4 small eggs or 3 large eggs
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1+ 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 cup raisins
• 1 medium apple (honey crisp, braeburn, or one with equally good texture and flavor)
• Rum

topping

• 4 Tbsp butter
• 4 Tbsp flour
• 1/3 cup brown sugar
• 1 tsp cinnamon

instructions

• The night before, put the raisins in enough rum to cover them, cover with a plate, and leave out.
• Cut bread into 1 inch squares and let sit out for an afternoon to dry the bread. (You can also cut these the night before and place in a bag to let dry. If the bread has thicker crust on it, cut the crust off of the bread as it will become tough when baked.)
• Dice the apple into very small pieces (approx. 1/2 the size of a raisin). You do not need to peel the apple. Toss apple with 1/2 tsp cinnamon and 2 Tbsp rum.
• Beat the eggs until they are thick and foamy. Add the coconut and cow’s milks, sugar, vanilla, and cinnamon.
• In a large bowl, toss the bread, raisins (drained of the excess rum), and apples. Place the mixture in a greased 8 x12 baking dish. Pour the egg & milk mixture over. Leave out for 30 min – 1 hr before baking, pushing the bread down with a fork or spatula to soak up the egg & milk mixture regularly.
• Melt the butter. Mix in flour, brown sugar, and cinnamon. Use your hands to spread this topping over the pudding in small pieces.
• Bake at 350 degrees for approximately 40 minutes (until the pudding has set). Let cool for 10 minutes before serving. Makes 6 hearty servings.

Tags: dessert

Title: Balzac and the LIttle Chinese Seamstress

Author: Dai Sijie, translated from French by Ina Rilke

Genre: fiction

Form: paperback

Recommended: maybe

Thoughts: This is one of many books that I have picked up at used book stores simply because it seemed like it would be a good story; it was ok. The book tells the story of two young boys in China who are sent to the countryside to be ‘re-educated.’ They find treasures in hidden books, storytelling, and a young seamstress. The story and writing were both good, and yet I find that this book did not capture me and hold me in the way I had hoped. Maybe it would be better in the original French, or maybe it was just my mood. If you read this, let me know your thoughts.

Tags: balzac, china, fiction

That’s right. All it costs is $85. In terms of i-pods, it is a 3 for 1 deal: 3 biosand filters for families for the cost of 1 i-pod classic 160 gb. A few days from now is the famous ‘Black Friday’ in America when there are super sales and people get up at unbelievable hours to get that perfect deal. All for something that is, likely, disposable. A biosand filter is not disposable and will transform the life of a family by providing them clean water for 10-20 years. Consider ‘buying’ one as an alternative Christmas gift this year at: www.bloodwatermission.com/christmas.

Tags: biosand filters, BWM, zambia

Title: A Wrinkle in Time

Author: Madeline L’Engle

Genre: fiction, science fiction

Form: paperback

Recommended: definitely

Thoughts: This is one of those books I subconsciously rejected reading for years because I am not normally a fan of science fiction. And then Renee presented it to me for my 28th birthday last year with the inscription, “For Pamela, 28, because you need this on your shelf and in your head.” She could not have been more correct. L’Engle is an excellent story teller, and the symbolism throughout the book is outstanding. In future years I plan to tackle the other four books in the series. If you have not yet read A Wrinkle in Time, you should.

Tags: fiction, l'engle, science fiction

Hello internet. It has been a while – life has been stressful, there is a side project, and some gatherings of family and friends have required some fun planning. If all works out, I will tell you about the side project within a few weeks. But today, I want to celebrate friends and fall leaves.

Last year I waited and waited to bag the carpet of leaves that fell from the trees in my yard. You can read abut me carrying what seemed like endless bags on my head up a rather long lawn here. The experience made me think about the grand irony that I love big, old trees and the deep, varied colors of fall, and yet the raking and bagging of leaves made me want to live in an apartment surrounded by cement sidewalks.

This year I had grand plans to attack a piece of the yard each weekend until it was done. (Yes, if I had true perseverance, I could work hard and finish it in a weekend. But I don’t.) And so two weekends ago I did about a half of my front lawn. 12 bags and I was impressed with myself. The next Saturday, Elizabeth and Joel volunteered their help. In three and a half hours we had raked the rest of the front and all of the back yard, took a break for smoothies, bagged 25 bags of leaves, and somehow managed to fit 33 bags of leaves into 3 cars, and empty the bags at the city compost. And the rest of the evening was filled with Trader Joe’s Chinese food, Blokus, Scrabble, and laughter.

And that is the power of friendship. Three strangers might have been able to accomplish the same task, but there would not have been laughter. There would not have been camaraderie, and there would not be hearts full from having worked alongside friends. This was one of those afternoons in life that lived up to the cliche expression, “many hands make light work.” Thank you dear friends for teaching me how I can continue to love those big old trees and fall colors.

Tags: fall leaves, friends, nashville

Tonight finds me inside sitting in my cosy living room, music on, beer in hand, and I am completely content with this situation. But this is not a post about my reason for boycotting Halloween or what I am doing instead. This post is about creativity.

I had some great costumes growing up. I remember being a clown and a princess as a little girl. In high school I pulled off a great Tinkerbell (think Hook, not Disney), and in grad school there was a pretty great Pippy Long Stockings. For sure, there were costumes in between these that were not A-quality, but there were some great ones, ones that I would happily repeat. And every single one of those was homemade. Parts of each costume were bought (thigh-high stockings), were thrifted (dresses), were sewn (clown costume and Tink clothes), and other parts pulled from the stock in the house (dive knife and shoes and make-up). The creation was part of the fun of the event. When I was at home, I had the assurance that mom could always help me create what was in my head, and since then I figure I learned well from the master.

All of this to say that I have mixed feelings on people buying costumes. Store bought is easier and often looks slicker. The cutest costumes that I have seen in the last few years have been for babies and kids – tigers an ducks and pumpkins. They have all been store-bought and these kids were cute enough to eat. I wonder if I will have the time and energy in the future to create costumes for myself or to help my kids create their own. I am not passing judgement on purchased costumes. And yet I love the idea, the principle of engaging the imagination and creative juices to build a costume and wear it well. To own it.

Where does this leave me? Hoping and wishing that Halloween is as much about engaging the creative as it is about anything else. It is that one day a year that we are all encouraged to carve pumpkins and create costumes and paint faces and own a piece of creativity. I hope you your creative juices have been flowing this weekend.

Tags: creativity, halloween

A while back I made a smart ass sign to try and get people to load their dishes into the dishwasher at work. A few days ago a lawyer with whom we share the building asked for one of similar tone about washing of hands given that it is flu season. I hope this makes him happy.

Tags: BWM, hand washing, signs

Tags: brick, nashville, texture

Tags: nashville